I am more than just a token.

No, I’m not dead. Ok, now that that’s cleared up...

Some things have been happening in my life. A few weeks ago, my general practitioner told me that I needed to have a colonoscopy because he feared that the pain in my lower abdomen was diverticulosis. I was unfamiliar with what that was, so I came home and checked it out on the Internet. Do you ever wonder how we survived before the Internet? I do. Anyway, it is a disease where a part of your intestines bulges out on the side, leaving a sort of pocket for assorted foodstuffs to get lodged in. The partially digested food just sits there, festering and creating a lot of digestive problems, not the least of which is infection. Plus, it is not really correctable outside of surgery. You can understand my trepidation, then, yesterday when I went to the Internist to get things down there “checked out.” I couldn’t eat for more than 24 hours and had to drink 2 liters of paste before I went. When was the last time that I didn’t eat for 24 hours? Hell, when is the last time that I missed a meal?

Anyway, it’s not diverticulosis. My intestines, in fact appear to be healthy and in perfect working condition. Chris was there during the procedure and watched the video screen the whole time. He said it was fascinating and that my intestines look like a Gothic Cathedral. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but when you live with a Graphic Designer, weirder statements have occurred... (Refer to “Not Knots for Naught”.)

So, on one hand my intestines are not acting all funny-like because of some dramatic intestinal disease. This is good. On the other hand, finding out what is causing the discomfort will be another challenge. Thank you, Higher Being. Just kidding. Please do not smite me. Smiting bad. I do, however, have the sudden uncontrollable urge to someday be able to use the cool, paste tense form of that word... ‘Smote’ just sounds cool as hell.