The Spoiled Victory

All is clear on the Western Front. C. apologized yesterday. I greatly respect him for that. Any man who can apologize (even if he was forced into it) is a good man, in my opinion. He made a special point of explaining that he has no problem with gay people and that when he said that he meant that I was being like a woman in the way I was trying to manipulate the situation. I guess sexist is better than homophobic.

Chris and I discussed this concept yesterday. Why is it that the absolute worst thing that a man could ever do is to mimic a woman’s behavior? What is wrong with being a woman? Why is it more acceptable for a woman to act like a man than for a man to act like a woman? Isn’t lesbianism more accepted in society because it fulfills some kind of male fantasy? Isn’t it true that lesbianism is not seen as distasteful because the only group who finds it as such, heterosexual women, have no voice?

I think the misogynistic attitude of most men is that woman are there as convenient receptacles but should not be heard. It is a lengthy topic to discuss, but I think the Women’s Rights Movement has a definite connection to that of the Gay Rights Movement. Both are battling against the practically inherent patriarchal hierarchy that has existed for thousands of years.

I asked that C. apologize because I thought that it was the right thing to do. It would show him that it is not ok to say such things in anger. It would set s precedent in the chorus that such behavior is not acceptable. It would save us all a lot of grief and potential internal conflict by bypassing going to any higher authorities. It seemed like the wisest decision to make.

But to see in C.’s eyes how terribly uncomfortable he was when he apologized, I had some thought in my mind that what was occurring was somehow unnatural and wrong. Maybe some people would have gotten some kind of sick satisfaction in the way that his body practically vibrated, forcing out the words. Not me. This must be what a parent feels like when he punishes a child. You know it’s the right thing to do, but it is hard to see. I’m just too soft.