Cha Cha Cha-ange....
I have been meditating a lot more. I am trying to find within myself answers about my future, and what I want from it. For now, though, I am going on the principle of "anywhere but here". I have outgrown Pforzheim and all that it has to offer me. I have made some decisions, not all of which I can yet talk about here, in that they are not yet official or really decided upon. I just know that there will be a lot of changes over the next year or so and my consciousness is slowly catching up to this idea.
That is, perhaps, the problem, because what I have been sensing from my meditations is that I am very, very afraid. It is rather a conundrum, though, because what I am afraid of is not necessarily that change is imminent, or that there is a possibility that I may fail. Interestingly, the reason that I am scared out of my wits is that I will probably succeed. I am scared of success.
Will someone please explain this to me? I know that this is what is happening. But, what in the world do I do about it?
posted by He sings @ 3:01 PM
3 Comments:
Ahh, yes...you are now at the place where you can understand my wanting to move on all the time. By process of elimination, I have been determining what's not right for me, so I need to take the fearful leap into the unknown to see if that might work better. Although one might be able to be happy no matter where one resides, I'm convinced that some places offer more or "click" better with one than another. The leap of faith is scary but necessary. You can do it! :)
Fear of success is one of the silliest things I have come across in my own progress through music. It is also the most debilitating if you are caught off guard by it. BUT! You are already aware of it, and the awareness of that didn't come to you in the middle of an audition like it did to me. :-) So.... what do you do now? Well, I recommend meditating on the idea of winning. Visualize yourself in the position you want to be in. When you sing, sing as though you are IN that job which you so desire. Then your mind will become more accustomed to the idea, and the fear should melt away.
BEST OF LUCK!!!!!
~Amie
Keep meditating.
Fear is actually illusory, but if it stays around (like a friend) use it as a rung on your ladder to success.
It's been too long since I've read your beautiful writings! I'm back! And will be in touch!
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