Randometer Kopierkatze

When we last saw our hero, he was battling giant centipedes on the planet Zyrgon…

I know it has been a while, and a lot has happened, so, inspired by Monica, I might have to just do a Randometer list in order to bring everyone up to speed.

1. Dream Agent, in November, recommended that I polish up a few things with the Voice Teacher in Munich. I had a lesson with her and decided to re-locate, part time, to Augsburg where she also teaches, in order to intensely “get shit done”. I have had three lessons so far. Thursday, I came home to Chris (thank God for his existence) and had a mild nervous breakdown. I guess I am not just doing a few things wrong…it’s more like EVERYTHING I do when I sing is wrong. On Thursday, I was on the brink of giving up singing all together. Seriously. I am better now, so don’t worry.

2. So, I live in Augsburg in a little apartment, ok tiny apartment, from Tuesday till Thursday every week. I sleep on a foam mattress that Monica once bought and used when she visited us in Pforzheim. The lack of a real bed and all of the walking (which I hadn’t done for the past three moths) and the intense breathing exercises the Voice Teacher had me doing especially focusing on the back muscles, brought about my back going completely out when I was in Augsburg. I can think of no more pitiful sight that what I must have looked like, barely able to walk, hunched over like I had osteoporosis, limping my way to the doctor where he gave me a shot in my back and extra-powerful pain meds. I am better now, but that was trying. The whole experience, really. is a trial of some sort. The set-up and the way it is playing out is like the universe plopping a very significant question before me, in dazzling marquee lights: “How much do you want this?” My will was almost broken this week. But I ain’t nobody’s bitch.

3. Convinced that I would absolutely lose my mind just sitting around, waiting for my next voice lesson, I started training at the Language School. I need a hobby. Teaching English seems like a good one for me. I have been training for the past two weeks and will teach my first class, in front of a bunch of businessmen on Tuesday. It should be fun.

4. Augsburg is cute. It looks a lot like what most people in America would think a typical German city should look like. It must not have gotten bombed out during the war. The one thing I have noticed, though, is that I see so man nuns on the streets here. I think I am going to start counting them. I will offer my data later.

5. Chris had a job interview in Berlin this last week. The interview went really well, and I was so proud of him for getting his portfolio together and presenting himself well. He ended up only being the runner-up. We were disappointed, but he has another interview this next week. I think he will get a job in Berlin soon, finally concreting our plans to move there.

6. Books I am reading/have recently read: “The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio” was pretty good. It tells the story of how a mother ended up supporting her large family by winning poetry, writing and jingle contests in the fifties and sixties. The story is very nice, but the book itself is quite badly written—going for the folksy style but never quite getting it right. “The Genius Factory: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Nobel Prize Sperm Bank” is good. It is written by David Plotz who also writes for Slate. I like Plotz’s writing style. I am half-way through and am wondering, though, if there is really enough material for a book here? Phyllis Diller’s “auto-biography” called “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse” is looking pretty good. I find her very funny, so her little anecdotes with inserted one-liners are great. I especially like the line that she was so ugly as a baby, the doctor “said it was the first full-term miscarriage he had ever witnessed.” I have just started this one, but it looks pretty good. Her ghost writer/editor seems to have done a pretty good job.

That’s all the news that’s worthy to print, so far. I know, because I have been monitoring it, that there are a good number of you reading my blog. It would be nice to hear a comment every once and a while…