Commentary on life and all that it contains.

These are commentaries on life as I know it. It can be the quickened, pulsating breath you feel as the roller coaster inches its was over the ride's summit. It can be the calming breeze on the dusk of a warm day, sitting in isolation, reflecting on beauty or loves once had. It, life, can be everything that you will it to be.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Oh my God, I'm a bigot!

I was so stunned this morning as I was reading an article about the new Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Born poor made good, climbing the proverbial political ladder from small town lawyer to Representative to Senator, he is definitely an inspiring story, and is a soft-spoken yet resilient politician. Then there came this line:

"He also opposes abortion rights, a position derived from his Mormon religion, which has put him at odds with many other Democrats."

Ok, so he's pro-life. That I can accept to a certain extent. It is a bitter pill, yes, but none the less...

But, he's a MORMON???

Ok, I am seriously not some kind of conspiracy theorist. I usually laugh at those people. But, the Mormons are really something to worry about. I have spent a couple of Summers in Utah amongst the Momos and they are some of the sweetest people on the face of the Earth. But, there is another side to this story. They are also some of the most arch-conservative, unforgiving people I have ever known. And, they are expanding in numbers like you wouldn't believe. A couple of years ago was the first year that there were more foreign-born Mormons in the world than American ones. And, they've got big money, too. And, now, they're getting more and more political power. Ok, this is starting to sound pretty silly, I guess. It sounds like some bigot complaining about how the Jews run everything in America--ridiculous.

But, did you know some of the lesser-known tenets of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

1. They believe that only a small number of people will actually make it to the Celestial Kingdom (Heaven.)

2. They believe that when the Bible says that when one gets to Heaven, he will be like God...they take that one step further to mean that they will become Gods themselves, ruling over their own planets like God does ours. Religioustolerance.org say "The highest levels of the Celestial Kingdom are reserved for Mormon couples who have been married in a Mormon temple and thus have had their marriage sealed for eternity. The couples can eventually become a God and Goddess." This is perhaps why Mormons are much more likely to believe in aliens than normal Christians are... :)

3. They believe that Joseph Smith, an uneducated teenager living in upstate New York was approached by an angel who showed him where some ancient golden tablets were to be found and subsequently translated for him the Golden Plates, written in some kind of ancient Egyptian-like language. This translation became the Book of Mormon, a book that they hold in as high esteem as the Bible itself.

4. They believe that Jesus Christ, after having died on the cross, came to minister to the American Indians.

5. This extremely American-Centrist religion believes that the Garden of Eden was somewhere in America.

6. Mormons wear special underwear they call "garments" that are meant to keep their bodies holy.

7. Mormons believe that graves of the dead can be baptized and then made Mormon. This is why the genealogical library in Salt Lake is one of the largest and best-funded in the world. Typically, Mormons, when converting, go through their list of relatives, and go to baptize them in their graves.

8. Mormons believe that they will be re-united in Heaven as the family that they have here on Earth. This is one of the big draws of this religion to its converts, the notion that they will never be separated from their family.

9. God has a wife.

And, you know what, these are things that I have only gleaned from my Mormon friends by asking lot of questions and being generally interested. I think, though, that most people do not know this stuff. They only know that Mormons are "nice young men" who come calling on their doorstep to politely ask if they have ever been converted. (As a side note, becoming a missionary is a rite of passage of sorts for a young Mormon man, not unlike a bar mitzvah. Girls are not aloud. And, as a crazy side note, the best-looking of the new missionaries are used for domestic missionary work. Funny.)

So, now that you know all of this, do you think Harry Reid should be running the Senate?

5 Comments:

Blogger Lug Nutmegger said...

My Dear Mr. Farrier,

Now you've done it! You are now on the Mormon list my friend. You are not naive enough to think Mormons send missionaries around the globe to proselytize do you? They are God's mafia and you are now Public Enemy #1 for exposing their secrets.

Of course I am just kidding. That said I have a couple of points I wish to make.

First, Sen. Reid is just one of the fifteen Mormons in Congress. I am no Sen. Reid apologist; while I consider him a good man, I think he is a jack-hole politician. To date apparently you did not know he was Mormon; the reason is that he is able to separate his religion from policy decisions. Supporting the man and his political positions is a little different from acknowledging and accepting his religious beliefs. It is that mentality that is keeping openly gay men/women out of the military. “He/she is a good soldier…but gay…and gays believe in anal sex…and he/she won’t kill people as well as “normal” soldiers”. See what I mean?

Second, you either had the dumbest Mormon friends during your time in Momo land or your comprehension level is only slightly better than that of a mole rat. I usually choose not to comment on these types of things but your representation of Mormon “tenets” are so incorrect I feel compelled to correct you on a couple of items.

Yes Mormons have money…lots of money! Mmmmm…money, wait…where was I, oh right, and yes the Mormon Church is growing at a pretty good pace. Yes, it is also true they control the CIA and FBI (wait, did I just write that out loud?). Mormons in general are socially conservative but somewhat politically diverse (I am not sure I can call a total of two democrats and one libertarian “diverse” but let’s go with that for sake of argument) and would not categorize them as arch-conservative, not that there is anything wrong with that. Mormons in general are politically active and tend to side with Republicans due to the core social beliefs and conservative values the Republican Party used to represent.

Now, when you say Mormons are gaining political power, I would be curious as to how you came to that conclusion. As I reference above there are 15 Mormons in Congress. There are various Mormon attorneys and generals with the ear of the President but with only 2% of Congress and a handful of advisors, I seriously doubt they are a force to be reckoned with. Mormons have a mere 6 million +/- members in America in contrast to 70 million Evangelicals. I would be more worried about them than the Mormons.

In regards to your representation of Mormon doctrine I will offer the following (in the same order as yours):

1. Actually the number of people who can attain celestial glory is undetermined and directly determined by one’s own actions. Slightly different nuance than what you have written.
2. I am not sure it is as cut and dried as you state it but the concept of “exaltation” or becoming like God is a somewhat accurate representation. Please document or show evidence of your statement that Mormons believe in aliens more than most "normal Christians". That is news to me. BTW, is a "normal Christian" one of those Catholics that flock to the local Starbucks to see the likeness of the Virgin Mary in a half-eaten blueberry muffin? Maybe a normal Christian is one of those snake-charming, speaking in tongues Baptists? More care should be taken when using the word "normal" in religious discussions.
3. Accurate
4. Accurate
5. I believe that is stated somewhere in one of the Mormon books and more specifically located Eden is located in Missouri but I am not sure how much stock is placed in that statement nor if it is official church doctrine.
6. Almost accurate; the “garments” are not meant to keep the body holy but to remind those who wear them to live a Christ-like life. Kind of like a cross or a collar for priests/pastors except garments are bullet and fire-proof.
7. I about fell out of my chair laughing at this one. If this was a joke it was a good one but if not I am sorry for laughing. I believe the term is “baptism for the dead” and it is not graves that are baptized rather baptisms are performed by proxy using the name of the deceased. Also, that does not make the deceased a Mormon. As I understand it in the afterlife, and prior to Christ’s Second Coming, the deceased, of course in spirit form, can choose to accept the gift of baptism or not. There is a little more to it but you get the picture. In regards to the church genealogical center, you are basically correct. It is indeed the most comprehensive in the world and a great source of information for millions around the globe searching for their ancestors. You do not have to be Mormon to use the service or visit the facilities, although if you are you get a discount, lol. You are somewhat incorrect in your statement that the first things Mormons do when they convert is go baptize their dead relatives…in the grave HAHAHA…although some may choose to submit their relative’s names for baptism for the dead by proxy at some point.
8. Somewhat accurate; as you attempt to mention in statements #1 & #2, as I understand it only those worthy and who are married and sealed will be reunited as a family in heaven.
9. I am not sure this is “official” doctrine. I will look into it. That said based on the concept of “exaltation” the assumption is that there would be a heavenly Mother.

In regards to missionary service; upon reaching the age of 19 (men) and 21 (women) Mormon youth are encouraged to volunteer for missionary service for 1 ½ years (Women) or 2 years (men). Naturally women are allowed and encouraged to perform missionary work. Those that choose to volunteer for missionary work pay for everything themselves. As to your statement that only the best-looking new missionaries are used for domestic service; this one is almost as good as baptizing graves, which is hilarious. Unless you were serious to which I will have to state that you are a complete and utter ass-tard! Besides, it is generally accepted that ALL Mormons are good-looking. As for as the rite of passage statement; I will submit that there is cultural pressure to serve a mission but in no way is missionary service mandatory. You do get hotter chicks if you serve a mission though.

The statements you present as evidence that Sen. Reid is not qualified for Senate leadership are all religious doctrine. Anyone could do the same for anyone in Congress with a religious background. Granted Mormonism may have some doctrine that is different from what is considered “mainstream” Christian beliefs but ultimately from a secular point of view it is all strange. I would agree that Sen. Reid should not be the Majority Leader but that is because his views and mine are diametrically opposed and I think his shady land deals show a history of corruption and self-serving interests. Not only did he escape capital gains taxes he avoided the 10% tithe to the church and we cannot abide by that.

Hate the player not the game baby!

Mitt Romney for President in 2008! (Once General Romney has taken the Presidency the Mormons will finally be poised to enact their plan of global domination! Be afraid, be very afraid!)

Lug, out

9:23 PM  
Blogger He sings said...

I just never get comments that use insults. "Ass-tard", uh, I mean, really...are we in fifth grade here. The article was obviously meant to be tongue and cheek. I just found it funny that almost all of the points that I made were acknowledged as being in some way correct by "lug". I mean, thanks for taking the time to write such a huge comment, but it does not, in any way, prove that I am an "ass-tard".

10:21 AM  
Blogger Lug Nutmegger said...

Mr. Farrier,

My entire post, filled with hilarity, and all you took away was the ass-tard comment? Was my wit completely wasted? I am actually hurt...I thought you might comment, "haha Lug, good one"!

I prefaced the ass-tard statement with "unless you were serious...than" which still stands, but as you comment your post was meant as tongue-in-cheek as were my comments.

If on my lovely and informative blog, I posted tongue-in-cheek comments about how all homosexuals spend a minimum of 12 hours a week at freeway rest areas, control Hollywood, associate with NAMBLA, and want to destroy traditional marriage, hehe, would you not feel compelled to correct me(and I hope you would because above statements are ludicrous but I would hope you would do so in an amusing manner)?

No offense intended and not trying to prove anything...just spreading the love baby.

Lug...out

3:50 PM  
Blogger He sings said...

Actually, that would be a pretty good estimation of homosexual behavior...

What makes you the Mormon expert anyway?

9:25 AM  
Blogger Lug Nutmegger said...

Mr. Farrier,

I was sorely mistaken...you do have a sense of humor. I about got fired from my job I laughed so hard at your last comment. (I am serious y the way, I thought that was very amusing)

I am no expert on Mormonism but I am Mormon (LDS).

Have a Happy New Year! I hope your singing career has much success in 2007.

Lug...out

10:11 PM  

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