Wedding

Yes, yes, I promised to change this blog location. I still plan on doing so, in case you haven't heard. You must contact me personally or leave a comment in order to be forwarded on.


It has been a few days since I was married to Christoph. The wedding was on Friday, and it is only now that I have caught my breath and can reflect enough on it so that those of you who could not be there can know what it was like.

Well, Chris and I were the first Civil Union in the Marriage Bureau (Standesamt) of his little town. The Bureau is a cute, little half-timbered house in traditional German style. We had no idea how the civil servant would react to having to do his first civil union service. In truth, he could not have been nicer, and obviously was happy to do it; he did a stupendous job, even bringing flowers from his own garden to brighten up the Bureau. He made a cute sign hanging on the main door, with quotes from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. Chris said later that he could see tears in the man's eyes at moments in the ceremony. (The cartoons are Chris' doing.)



I thought that I was going to be able to be strong during the ceremony and hold back my tears. But, at some point, I was so overwhelmed with joy that the floodgates gave way and I just started blubbering. I thought to myself: "I have heard countless stories of how getting married is one of the most moving and joyful moments in someone's life. I have never understood that until this very moment." And, it was true. Friday was the apex of my life so far. I have never felt joy like I did that day.



And I felt so extremely blessed. When Christoph and I had arrived at his parents the day before, we could see that they had been working diligently for weeks to make this day as special as they could for us. They rented a tent for the garden, they found a wonderful country inn in the Odenwald where they planned the four course meal for more than forty guests, they co-coordinated an afternoon coffee (with 13 different cakes) at their home for after the dinner, they planned for and served a huge sideboard meal for the guests that stayed until the evening, they made rooms in their homes available for the overnight guests that had traveled a long distance. And all of this was a gift from them to us.

The day went off without a hitch. The weather was beautiful, sunny and in the 70s. The ceremony was fantastic. Our rings turned out beautifully—a gift from our friend Peter, a Goldsmith here in Pforzheim. (You all knew that Pforzheim is the jewelry capital of Germany, right?)



The whole day was so emotional, and I really think that I started to get dehydrated from all of the crying. But, I couldn't help it, I couldn't help but feel that I had done nothing spectacular enough in my life to have deserved this intense joy that I felt at the outpouring of love from those who were there and had a hand in the planning. Even more deeply intense, though, was the joy that I felt at having found a husband like Christoph. I am blessed; I just can't stop saying it. I don't want to get all religious on you or anything, but I thank God for this, from every part of my being.

The dinner was tasty (I can be a pretty harsh critic of restaurants.) I seldom have experienced a dinner served en masse taste so good…the meat was of very good quality, and even Christoph was impressed by the vegetarian selection. And the speeches, oh the speeches. Chris' mother gave a speech (I am going to translate it and include it in my new blog.) I am relatively sure that there was not a dry eye in the room by the time she had finished…as she talked about how difficult it had been for her to learn that Chris is gay, that it pained her to think that this would make his life so hard, and that his life was actually hard, very hard. "Then came Josh," she said. And everything changed. This is true, and was true for me, too.

Monika so moved us all, especially Chris' relatives as they could see the true emotion in her eyes. The several gay couples that were invited were deeply moved, too. You have no idea what a fantastic woman Monika is, but to stand up and give a speech, so from her heart, not breaking down, but driving forward, in front of all of her relatives about how proud she is of her gay son, emphasizing especially for the gay folks there that I am now her son, too, is the work of an extremely strong woman, and everyone saw it as just that—amazing. The performance of a superwoman, and just about the best mother-in-law one could wish for.

I think that is what made the day so amazing: it all sort of played out in this perfect way, so perfect that I could not have even dreamed it up being any better.

Betsy gave a wonderful "groomsman" speech. The people were absolutely enchanted with Bets, as well they should be. She made the speech funny, but also reminded us that, when I was staying in Darmstadt, Chris and I slept on a twin mattress on the floor of a practically empty room. I look back on that time and wonder how we did it. But, I know that it was this intense, instantaneous love that Chris and I had/have for each other that made even sleeping on a twin mattress on the floor seem like heaven itself. The crowd got a great laugh when Betsy, not realizing what she was saying, said "And, now, when things get rough, just remember what it was like on that mattress." It's so terribly difficult not to get yourself into trouble in another language sometimes…

Everyone ate well, and we all got into our cars to drive through the beautiful hills of the Odenwald back to Chris' parents'. Everything had been prepared while we were gone, and it looked beautiful. We all enjoyed each other's company, occasionally being interrupted by a game for the groom and groom, staged by my new sisters-in-law Jutta and Nicole.


We laughed and cried the whole day long, it seems like. I was extremely tired, after having had so little sleep in the nervous days before Friday. But, the energy was stupendous, and everyone seemed to have really enjoyed themselves. I am married now. I just can't believe it! I never really dreamed that I would get this lucky. Never.