Your introduction to the Antichrist

I just can’t believe that it is only the second month of the season, and there are already things that cause me to not be able to sleep. I promised myself that I would just try to let things go this year, realizing that some things are just not that important in the scheme of things. But, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to...

This last Monday, a member of the chorus, who has been with the company for 14 years and who sings a lot of solo roles on the stage, got angry at another member of the chorus during a rehearsal, threw a tantrum and stormed out. Bricky, as I will call him, is a personal friend to both of his immediate bosses (the chorus director and the general music director.) So, his tantrum went unpunished.

The problem is that the entire chorus knew that what he did, albeit unprofessional and disrespectful of his colleagues, would go unpunished. They knew this because they know that every member of the chorus receives different, preferential treatment based on their worth and tenure. This is the philosophy of our chorus director, Dicky. This kind of feeling, that someone amongst us is golden, that he will not be punished, ever, that he will get away with murder, is extremely bad for any group. The men’s chorus is incensed about this. Bricky should have received some kind of punishment, considering there have been many other offenses before this, most of which not out right or obvious enough to punish. But, to storm out in front of the group, and for this to have been so obvious a mistake and against the rules, and still not to be punished for it, is a smack in our faces. Every member of the chorus knows in his heart that if he had done the same, walked off the job in effect, he would have been severely punished.

I went to Dicky about this. I thought he should know, in case he hadn’t realized it, that the morale of the overall group was at stake in this little, yet symbolic matter. He said that the matter was over because he had a talk with Bricky, and because Bricky is having trouble at home and problems of a personal nature, his indiscretion was forgiven. I have no problem with this. I have sympathy for my fellow man, even is he is someone that I consider to be diabolical and (to repeat what everyone in the chorus calls him) a psychopath. If he is having trouble at home, he deserves our understanding. What followed in the conversation with Dicky, however, is what has truly, since that time, upset me.

Dicky said that we all have different worths, and must be treated accordingly.

“Bricky has been in the theatre a very long time (even longer than me!), he said. Bricky is a hard worker. He is always in the theatre. He has really great musical ideas. I know this, because I share all of the same ones. You can’t compare someone who has just begun in the theatre with someone who has been here for years. People who have been here a long time are more experienced, and just know more about how things work.”

And what I understood from the conversation: You are just a beginner. You have no worth, or very little, compared to Bricky.

Dicky really believes that the world is a hierarchical place, that we all have our place in this structure, and we are on pedestals if we so deserve it. Or, as my case is, we are stuck in the nether regions of the structure’s basement, never to see the light of day until those above us die or move on, thus passing on to us their offices with windows.

You have no idea how this has made me feel like shit. To think that all of that education and experience that I have had in the theatre was suddenly wiped out when I entered the doors of this one for the first time makes me sick to my stomach. All of this because my boss is so small minded as to not recognize that we all bring to our art different talents and experiences, most of which were lived and learned before coming here. I hate hierarchical thinking. I hate the way it forces some of us to be considered second-class citizens. But, for it to be thrown in my face, seemingly telling me that I have no real worth, is too much. I can’t just let it go. I am not the shit under someone else’s shoe, and nothing will make me resign myself to believing such.

So, of course, I am thinking about what I must do to combat against this. Suggestions?