Work? No thank you, I've had too much already.

A friend recently asked me what my day typically consists of. That's difficult to explain...

We have 1.5 days off per week. The days off can be any day of the week, and you know months ahead of time when they are and can plan ahead. They usually end up being Mondays all day and Tuesday until 6PM because the theater is dark on Monday nights. Other than those days, we have to be available for rehearsal. That doesn't mean that we always have a rehearsal or a performance; it just means that we can only plan one day at a time. Ok, yes, the song is going through my head... “One day at a tahahaaaaaahhhm, sweet Jesus” Maybe, that’s my next million Euro idea, a twelve step program for musicians. They could think of it as three measure of common time for a cure. Nerd alert. Ok, so, the daily schedule is available by 1:30 PM on the preceding day. So, if you want to plan something for tomorrow, and it’s not 1:30 yet, you gots to wait, son, and that’s just all there is to it.

The theater workday is split up into two sections, called Morning and Afternoon. Morning means from 10AM until 2PM. Afternoon means 6PM till whenever. So, if we had rehearsal in the morning for the full time and then had a long show at night, we would work a normal 8 hour day like most normal people. This doesn’t really happen, though, since rehearsals can only last 3 hours and 20 minutes, with a 20 minute break inclusive) We rarely have a full length rehearsal and then a long performance, though. The theater basically shuts down from 2PM until 6PM everyday. This is our “Quiet Time.” This is really nice. You can take a nap, go grocery shopping, work out, go swimming, take a hike, whatever. 4 hours rest time before the evening show is just right for a lot of things. It’s also a really nice time for a nap.

Ok, what I am saying is, this job is a total joke. We hardly have to work at all, really, and are just lazy. But, hey, it beats working construction. And, for this, I get paid more than the average German. I am not rich, but making a salaried income has definitely made it easier to balance my budget, and get ahead financially. Money bad. Josh with money good.

Which brings up an interesting point: job security. I am tenured here. I have worked here the required amount to be tenured, which means it is next to impossible, under German law, to fire me. In order to get a written “Warning”, you would have to do something pretty bad. In my first year here, I missed an entrance. I was so mortified (American work ethic + American stage training = guilt beyond compare.) I asked my colleague if I would receive a Warning for that. He laughed and said no. When I asked him what I would have to do to get a Warning he said: If a stage manager comes to you and tells you it's time for you to come to stage, and you just look at them, cross your arms, and say, "No, I don't want to go on stage.” that would warrant a Warning.
“And I would need THREE such occurrences to get fired?”
“Yup.”
Damn, I'm golden. Yay, antiquated, overly-unionized, restrictive, centralized German labor laws that arte crippling the country’s economy, yay. Sorry about your economy, nice German people, but thanks for the dough.