I definitely need my whore.

Pr the example of my friend Karen, I have taken Google’s advice and have made a little list of just what Google thinks I need by typing in “MY NAME needs”. Thee mother of all super computer brains has told me, without doubt, just what I should be setting as goals for my life. Thank God, because, until just this moment, I thought I was a boat on the listless seas of life, without sail or oar (random homophony, yes!)

PS Did any of you see that article in the Onion a couple of months back that said that Google plans to destroy all information not readily obtainable of google? What a brilliant idea.

J. needs a stable and nurturing family.
J. needs a heart transplant.
J. needs a disciple and soul mate.
J. needs to simply keep active.
J. needs his whore.
J. needs to live successfully and fully.
J. needs a family who will adopt him.
J needs to lose weight!
J. needs to crawl.
J. needs sudden rescue from the matchmaking schemes of his aunt.
J. needs to be taught how to imitate autistic children.
J. needs an assistant nearby in case he becomes incapacitated.
J. needs a bride tonight.
J. needs a number-10 wrench.
J. needs a German lap dancer!
J. needs to write a letter clearly explaining what happened.
J. needs a lot of shit.

PPS As it turns out, for those of you reading my blog on a regular basis (and by that I mean the thousands of my adoring fans...), Bricky was punished rather severely for his actions the other day by the heads of the theatre (Dicky’s bosses.) So, there is justice after all. Now, to come up with a way that I might win Dicky’s respect...