Charles Kuralt?

Why is German so funny? Ok. I don’t know if anyone really has an answer for that.

Chris was researching on the internet for how to make little pastries called Pudding Schnecke. It literally means Pudding Snail. It looks like a cinnamon role, except there is pudding in the parts where that yummy cinnammony stuff is usually. Anyhoo... He went onto the Internet to find the recipe and had such a hard time because he kept getting hits for porn sites. I just think it is so funny that Pudding Snail is also a German expression for a woman’s private parts.

As a side note, Germans don’t have a word for “slug.” They call them “naked snails” (nackte Schnecken.) I also find that funny for some reason. The slugs here are really black, too, which adds to the weirdness, I guess. They used to collect them and grind them up as a lubricant for wheels, I guess. Interesting. Poor little guys. I guess they really did their part for progress.

Since I am already on the indecent track, I guess I can tell a little story about how I amused myself at my last costume fitting. Fittings are annoying, somehow. So, my excuse for my own stepping out of bounds is that I was just plain bored.

The only background that you need to know to get this story is that the word “Schwanz” means both tail and penis in German.

The seamstress hands me a pair of pants to try on that I wore last season, and I am having some trouble fitting into them.

“Hey, I thought you lost weight,” she said.
“I did. But, hey, I need to gather my nuts for the winter.” (an only very slight sexual innuendo in German.)
“You’re the biggest squirrel I’ve ever seen.” she wittily retorts.
“Yeah, and you haven’t even seen my Schwanz yet.” I can’t help but respond.

I know it really doesn’t sound that funny. But, in some extremely oblique way, I was happy that my German is finally to the point where I can make smart ass remarks as I may, if in the mood, in English. Can it be that the krauts may someday find me funny? Hmmm, we’ll see. Stay tuned to find out, kids. Same Bat time. Same Bat channel. Or something. Remember how Charles Kuralt used to end his shows with “and that’s the way it is.”? I may just should do that, too, (I tip my Southern hat to Karen.) by ending my entries with “or something”.