That Chinese secret was bleach ok? Geez.

Coming home from my voice teacher's the other day, a couple of plain clothes policemen got on the train immediately before the train doors closed for departure, and walked straight up to the only foreign-looking couple of the train, an Asian man and woman, and promptly asked for their identification. Am I wrong, or would his kind of situation never fly in America? Yes, I know all about racial profiling, and how Americans are so certain that they live in one of the most racist environments in the world. But, this kind of eternal self-flagellation, which is typical of the American middle class, is, in my opinion, far from the truth.

Here in Germany, there are still commercials reminiscent of the one I used to watch as a kid. You know, the one where the woman goes to her neighborhood Chinese laundry, and, amazed at how white her whites have come out, asks the man working there how in the world they do it. The man, practically a cartoonist’s drawing in real life, complete with buck teeth, insists that he cannot tell because it is an "ancient Chinese secwet". There is a commercial for ready-made noodles bowls here that has a little guy with eyes drawn as two, simple lines, slanting in opposite directions. He has one of those cone shaped hats, and a chop stick in each hand. He dances around to Asian-sounding cymbal clashes as he extols the praises of his "Asia Wok" noodles.

And, I can't tell you how many times I have heard Chinese people referred to as "slant eyes" in German, as the person saying it doesn’t bat an eye, seemingly unembarrassed at his faux pas. He wouldn't consider himself a racist, you see. Maybe it's the extreme precision of the language mixed with the ever-present over-homogenous nature of current German society. The language may just be the culprit, I theorize. After all, I still find it difficult to describe the typical garb of a conservative Muslim female, since, in German, what she is wearing is literally "head towel ". That just seems too close to “towel head” to me.

It seems to me that, in order to not be considered racist in America, those policemen on the train would have had to ask for the identification of everyone on the train. After all, it is impossible to tell who is American by sight. We are too many things, too many possibilities to be easily pigeonholed, at least, not by sight alone. They would have had to check everyone out, or they could have potentially gotten a few choice words from a couple of Asian people who were born on American soil. (I could make the obvious joke about how many people in America would be happy if more Asians rode trains rather than drove, but that would be mean, and, just too easy.)

The policemen have it relatively easy here, though. When speaking to someone with skin other than my own, it is almost a surprise to see that they actually speak German like a native. Surprising most of all, is perhaps my own surprise. I'll never forget, though, years ago, sitting in a German train on my way to see a friend. An older German lady had engaged in a conversation with a young Turkish man. And, for some reason, even though he must have spoken with a flawless accent, she asked him if he had been born in Germany. He was probably a German citizen even. Can you imagine being him? How insulting would that be if everyone constantly asked you if you were born in your own country? (The subtext always has the ring of “do you really deserve to be here?”) But, in Germany, being German means German blood. Until recently, the government did not easily grant citizenship to the children born in Germany to Turkish guest workers. In any case, a youth of Turkish decent is still seem as “Turkish” by the majority of people here, regardless or his official passport.

I didn't have my passport with me either just this week, as it is not required to be on your person if you are registered with a city here, as all permanent residents must be. I was lucky, though, because the policemen looked at me and just thought I was another German. I look more German than most of my German friends, really. Truth be told, I have seen so many more people here who look like me than I ever did back in the States. Weird that, but anyway...

Just remember that the States is not the world’s most racist country. If anything, the States have been forced to at least try to deal with its racism head on. The result is a society that, in my opinion, has one of the most progressive racial policies in the world. Let’s just suffice it to say that your typical American will not refer to Chinese people as “slant eyes” and call their favorite chocolate candy “Nigger Kiss”. Need I say more?