Sing, boy, sing!

I had my first lesson with an old student of Inci Bashar that has been working on the German stage for 22 years and is a Wagnerian soprano. Finally, someone who just lets me open up and sing, and doesn’t try to shut down my voice and make it smaller. Finally someone who agrees, I think, that I am a young Heldentenor. And, finally someone, who is really going to be able to help me on my way because she really likes my voice and is perceptive and honest enough not to let me get away with bad habits. Plus, she only lives an hour away, and charges 40 Euros a lesson. Amazing! Maybe it is time.

She wanted to know if I could financially swing it and just stop, right now, singing in the chorus and concentrate on my technique and getting my solo career off the ground. Wow. This whole time I have resigned myelf to being a chorister just because it is easy and sure. Is there, still, really a chance for me? I don’t know. But, I do know this, I aam going to try to sing some concerts and solo stuff this year and just see what happens.

She said something very interesting yesterday. She realized that she was spinning her wheels in frustration trying to go onto the next step in her career, when a friend asked her “do you really want it?” She had trouble answering that question. She had achieved so much already and was enjoying time with her kids at home, that she had to ask herself if she really wanted to not just be a well-known Dramatic Soprano in Germany, but, rather, internationally. When she comes up with the answer, it will all fall into place accordingly.

I have to ask myself this question, too. Will I have to become frustrated with the chorus and my fellow singers so much that I will force myself out, or, will I decide that I want more and reach out in another direction? I have seen first hand how hard it is to be a soloist from working so closely with them here. I am just not sure whether the payoff is great enough. But, I am realizing for the first time something that I have forgotten: singing is my form of artistic expression. Being able to communicate as an artist is no good if no one hears it.