I, for one, will miss you.

I don't care what any of you say, the passing of Tammy Faye leaves the world a little less bright. I don't even know if any of you know this, but I grew up Pentecostal. We went to church three times a week, the church was 45 minutes away and the services were often over 2 hours, and always ended with a full-blown, tears in the aisle alter call. It was a pretty emotional upbringing, centered around sin, of ourselves and the rest of the world.

Needless to say, I also grew up with PTL. It was always on, it seemed. No, we couldn't watch "Three's Company" not just because it displayed two women and one man living together in sin, but also because it insinuated that Jack could be gay. We could always watch Tammy Faye and Jim, though, at home at Heritage USA, as she cried her eyes out, mascara streaks dripping like some kind of living testament to Dali—why bother with a melting clock when you have a melting televangelist right before you, and she can sing, too.

In spite of it all, the drama of it all, the surrealist-without-intending-to-be-surrealist nature of it all, I still had to really like Tammy Faye. She had what could not be taught and what one finds so, so rarely in this age: sincerity. I really believe, to the depth of my heart, that she really meant what she said. So, when she on July 19th, on Larry King, at 65 pounds, said that she genuinely loves us all and genuinely wants to see us all in heaven, I believe it.

And all of that is spite of the tragedies she endured. Jim Bakker embezzled millions from little old ladies sending in their life savings in order to build God's paradise on earth. He was caught in sex scandals…with MEN! I remember how terribly disillusioned we all were in our household as these things played out. Speaking of surrealism, it just couldn't be true! PTL and Jimmy Swaggart having his televised wake for the death of his empire, crying out every last emotion before us must have been why my parents became more moderate with time, and, even, eventually became Methodists. Thank God. Oh, the stories I can tell about growing up a Holy Roller…

But, she endured. When asked on Larry King why she had not, as most fundamentalists had/do, spurned the gay community, ejecting them from church life, and Christianity as a whole, she simply said that as everything played out with PTL's downfall, her people, good "Christian" people would have nothing to do with her, but that the gay community reached out to her with a helping hand. "And I will never forget that," she said. Yeah, that got me teary eyed.

What a neat lady she was. She IS with the Lord now, just as she wanted to be. And I won't forget her; I won't forget her eyelashes, her smile or her message.

It's an incredibly miniscule world, after all.

Dear people that read this blog, (what am I saying)...

Dear extremely tasteful and incredibly smart people of the world,

I will begin my audition tour this fall after I return from America with, hopefully, a doctorate in my hand. Because the world is so much more technically savvy, and practically all information is readily available to us, I have decided it is to time to remove my real name from this blog. (In this dog-eat-dog world of music, there is no reason I should give, no matter how slight, to discount my chances at success. As sad as it may seem, it is possible that someone could deny me a gig simply because they disagree with my viewpoints.)

In 10 days from today, this blog will no longer exist. If will be moved, in its entirety, to an "undisclosed location" where D. Cheney can keep a better eye on it.

If you would like to be informed of the new secret location, either send an email to jbjorling@hotmail.com, my real email address, if you have it, or simply leave word in the comments of this entry and I will imform of you when the "jump" occurs.

And, your suggestions of what the new blog should be called are, of course, very welcome indeed.

Yours,
That guy

Things that simply MUST be shared.

The verdict is still out, according to the video's comments page as to whether she was over-medicated or just drunk. I thought at first it was a benefit concert for mentally handicapped people who sing opera. But, I guess she's not handicapped at all, but is a soloist at the National Theatre in Belgrade. I could go into a diatribe about people like me, starting out, who may be struggling to make a career and people like her who seem to have no respect for our art, but that would be tiresome.

Holy blog overload, Batman.

So, this is an example of "Bacchus", one of the roles that Robert said I should learn.

Comments to consider while watching:
1. Nice tights
2. Jess Thomas--Heldenntenor sans belly. Damn you.
3. God, he sounds great. But he didn't sound too great as he got older. Too much singing or, are there bad habits there from the beginning? Discuss.
4. I hope she brought her ear plugs
5. Who turned out the lights?

Oh.

I was reading through my last entries and I realize that I may have left some of you that read my blog hanging about my audition in Berlin. My apologies to you two. Sorry.

Well, Berlin was a wonderful experience. It was probably the best audition I have ever had, thanks to Allan and his principles. Allan has helped me so much. It is an interesting place that I am in my life…to be on both a spiritual path of awakening and to be starting the next part of my career simultaneously. It's just weird, let's leave it at that.

So, three other people were invited to sing at the young artist auditions while I was at the Staatsoper. We all heard the same thing after singing: "Danke schön." I know that they were holding more auditions the next day, and who knows how many other days of auditions they had in addition. My audition was on the 27th of June and the entire house went on vacation on the 1st of July. If I know Germany and opera houses in general, they heard people, didn't make a decision about whom the wanted, and went on vacation, intending to tackle the problem when they return on August 15th. So, I haven't heard anything yet, but that may or may not be a bad thing.

At this point, I am treating the audition as a "good experience" and moving on. I can't help but put out of my mind the sneaking suspicion/faint hope that they will call in August and ask if I can come immediately to Berlin. But I do not intend to build my house on a foundation of sand, and, to be practical, I am just assuming that I "didn't get it." Hey, if they call, I will still jump at the chance, but no matter what happens, it is a win/win situation as far as I am concerned. I wanted to just sing for agents and start my career from the ground up before all of this, anyway. And, if I end up not going to that young artist program, I will get my wish.

Me? Samson? That's kind of funny.

Yesterday was a whirlwind day, but one that put me on absolute cloud nine.

I woke up thinking why my practice session on Sunday had not gone as well as it should have. I meditated on this point and realized that, in the next months, I need to concentrate on remaining open and available for whatever God brings me. This is a time of great change in my life and I mustn't take on tunnel vision, to remain open—this includes remaining open to the messages that are being sent to me.

For some time, since early Spring, really, I have been getting positive message after positive message about my singing, that I am on the right track, that I should continue. And yesterday was no different. The General Director of Orlando Opera is here in Pforzheim, directing a production of the Marriage of Figaro. I have had a couple of conversations with him and he agreed to listen to me so that I could get some feedback. I sang the Florestan aria and "Winterstürme" from Walküre for him yesterday, and he had a lot of extremely positive things to say. Amongst the awesome feedback were the recommendations that I sing for Speight Jenkins at Seattle Opera because they love big voices there and do a Ring cycle every four years. It was funny because, just before he put out Speight's name, he asked what under what management I am. "Uh, I am really at the very beginning here, the first audition that I have ever sung as a Heldentenor." He was probably going to recommend that my agent try to get me an audition in Seattle. I guess that will have to wait…

He totally gave me the green light, said that I am ready to start my career and that the music on my audition list is very good. It was interesting to hear an American perspective on this, though. "Do you sing any of the bigger French stuff?" he asked. Huh…. I hadn't even thought of that. Interesting. We just do little French stuff here, but he is probably thinking more "internationally" than I. Things he recommended that I learn:

Aeneas in Les Troyens (Berlioz)
Samson in Samson and Delilah (Saint-Saëns)
Bacchus in Ariadne auf Naxos (Strauss)
Lenny in Of Mice and Men (Flloyd)

Interesting!

Yesterday was also a great milestone for my doctorate. I finally finished the first revision of a big paper that I sent off to my professor last night. Things are coming along on my doctorate and I have bought my tickets to go back to America. I will be there for the entire month of September. I think it's really going to happen this time.

Anyway, yesterday was an awesome day. Just thought I would share.

A Fond Farewell?

I had my last service at the theatre on Wednesday. Many of the goodbyes were heartfelt, most uneventful. I feel I really tried to do the best job that I could at the theatre, but I guess it went unnoticed…

Things I will miss:

1. Singing full out in some huge production like Aida or Tannhäuser, being surrounded by the sound. God that was great.
2. Lemuel Cuento. He is one of the most consistent singers I have ever come across, and a fantastic musician to boot. He actually brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion (a difficult task for a cynical heart like mine) when he really "sang." Thanks for the inspiration, Lem.
3. The clapping after a good performance, with the audience in an almost trance-state, giving all that they've got, obviously inspired. I guess the clapping is important, after all.
4. Conversations with my two good colleagues in the choir, Herr Wecht and Herr Lenschow. Their combined almost encyclopedic knowledge about opera and performance is completely from a German perspective and has opened my eyes.

Example of great showmanship...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobbejaan_Schoepen